Thursday, February 13

the power of postive thinking

Its pretty common knowledge around these parts that I would be am classified as a "worry wort" times about five thousand. I am also known to sometimes be a pessimist, not intentionally, but I think it goes hand in hand with being a worrier. Whatever goes hand in hand with either of them I want to get out of that relationship. I don't want to be associated with, connected to, mentioned in the same sentence as, etc. I want a really rough and bad break up. I never wanna see them again, hear from them, think of them, call them, drunk text them on the weekend, and pretend to pretend that I know a different worry and meant to text them.... okay, Ive gone too far... moving on shall we...

Having clients I get to enjoy many conversations though-out the day. varying in all different topics and taking me on so many different thought tangents... its exhausting and brings me so much joy at the same time. However a lot of my clients are different thinkers than I. They're stronger in some subjects, rarely weaker, and just give me so much knowledge from so many spectrum's; I couldn't be happier with what I do, but I hold onto the bad not butterflies and unicorn conversations, dwell, worry and then cant sleep at night. last night was the last straw... I CANT DO IT ANYMORE WORRY! I'm done.

so last night as I was laying in bed just worrying about things that I shouldn't nor control, after waking up my blissfully sleeping partner; asking for a hug which is sadly a common occurrence when these fits of worry happen, after telling him whats worrying me, he sleepily saying its going to be okay, then turning over and right back to sleep for him; (can you tell this has happened more than a few times; makes me sick there is a routine to this ) I did what I should've done from the age of 9 (that's the earliest I can remember actually having to go back out into the living room and cuddle my mom or dad until I couldn't fight sleep anymore) I took control of my thoughts and turned them around. I almost cried, it was and hopefully will continue to be life changing. I took all the stressing, the worrying, the pessimist thoughts and A). stopped them! B). said a little made up happy mantra C). repeated it 5 times D). relaxed and actually listened to C.... E). realized that D actually happened and almost broke down crying... I was so happy and went to sleep easily and quickly. Then I awoke happy and ready for the day; not that this is abnormal but it was a different feeling of happy. I got up as soon as I could.. I mean, I cant not snooze, c'mon.... I didn't even make any coffee... that's how eager I was.. I got right into the office and started to write this little break up letter to worrying...

I am so happy! if there are any advice and or tips that anyone has ever used to defeat conquer any pessimism, worry, self negativity. I would love a back up plan, in case he comes calling  late at night, or anytime, he's needy, and he knows everything about me, he knows where I work, play, etc.... I hope the clean break last night will help me not respond to him....

So positive thinking. I know its great to throw all sorts of that energy in any direction you can... I am just stoked that I finally learned how to produce it myself.... I know i am pretty late to get the membership card, but I am happy to finally be accepted into the club. Ill pay my dues, and ill bring cookies to all the meetings, if thats what its gonna take to keep this up! YAY! happiness... lets do this 2014. Thank you. its only been two months, and so much has already changed for the better... this is going to be the best year yet.
thanks for listening
positively yours

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