Fat.

I'm taking a stand to my unhealthy body image / weight issues. 

 I want my jeans, and especially my "bloated jeans" to actually feel good on again... I am and will always think of myself as a jeans and t shirt person... But for the past three months, no joke, I haven't even dared put on my jeans; thats a lie, i did try once.. and quickly took them off and put on a dress instead. I have never felt that way in or about jeans nor do I want to ever again... That was my last straw. Pathetic? Maybe. Realizing it's time to do something. Yep... So with my next pay check I'm buying some running shoes. that's it, it's time. I'm getting too old, and my metabolism is too... It's not my friend anymore. I at least want us to get along... Can we do that ? I sure hope so. 

I even had a dream the other night where I was running, and enjoying it...if I don't see that as a sign I don't know what else my subconscious can scream at me... I usually don't remember dreams, nor feel happy whilest in them.  "Gross", I thought when I woke up... Then I hated myself for thirteen minutes after for thinking exercise happiness was gross.... Ugh. 

So come the 15th I'll be the owner of new running shoes... 

 here's to losing 10 lbs.. That's a reasonable goal to begin with I think. I don't want to get super skinny... I just want to be less soft....

Are there any tips? Tricks? Work out plans that have worked for anyone out there ??? Shoes that are your favorite??

Balancing act

So one of my news years resolutions was to be girl-y... And as easy it is to take more time putting my outfits together, wear lipstick daily, and curl my hair once in a while, I still haven't been able to the one thing that I have yearned to do since I was the tender age of three. Wearing pretty girls heels/ wedges...

I know it "takes time", "you gotta learn," they say, "practice, practice, practice," I hear you co-worker, I hear you... But I wanna do it now... Yep I whine. Deal with it. But I really want to be able to be pretty in the new wedgy summer sandals I bought for this season, but I can't even walk the three blocks it takes me to get to work before I am dying to get to work so I can put on the flats I brought in my bag..


I need help, tips, advice. I would be happy with any.